i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
