There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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