Me too!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you mean i was at the winter classic?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
did i just pee glitter
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
