i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
