Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
