seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
