We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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