Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
