Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
