Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
