why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry about my life...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
