i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
