I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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