Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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