Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
