Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
