I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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