Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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