i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His nipple licking is glorious
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