My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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