We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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