my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
