The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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