barbara walters just said penis...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
