he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
