You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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