you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
