Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
