I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
