we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
