Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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