He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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