I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
