just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
