Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
