Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
