The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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