And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
