After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize