I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
