From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
