I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Life is so much better after having sex.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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