I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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