told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
