Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize