I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize