Me too!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
