Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize