WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
