the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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