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Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
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