I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.