i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
