Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..