I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.