watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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