it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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