if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
