I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize