In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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