Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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