Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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