just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
