BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
