great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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