I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my being single is dangerous.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
